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2013年10月2日 星期三

1.1 Premarital cohabitation : introduction

  It is a fresh experience when I became a second-graded student, two of my roommates started to stay overnight in their boyfriends' houses. At first, I thought it was really a big step forward to the relationship and really didn't approve it. However, I soon found out that this might be a great start for two people to understand each other more because they could get used to each other's living habits earlier, so I turned to persuade my roommates to move to live with their boyfriends next semester. It was reported many times that lots of couples figured out they didn't fit when they finally built a dreamy sweet house.
  To my surprise, they all refused. They told me they couldn't accept premarital cohabitation or something like that because they insisted on the sense of fresh was important than their future happiness. So I asked deeply and discovered that they didn't stand against premarital cohabitation but they fought against "cohabitation before engagement". The definition of these two terms was a little different that the range of the second one term was much smaller than the first one. They said when somebody came up the thought of marrying someone else , it was necessary to live together for a while to make a final decision; however, when two people hadn't thought to make a forever contract to each other, they shouldn't live together hastily.
  It was unexpected because I think the thing in another way. I support any kind of cohabitation since there is no difference between temporary staying or long-time-stay. Discontinuous living together is actually a reflection of the desire to live together. If you want to stay longer with your lover and you have ability to do, why not just moving into his house?    

17 則留言:

  1. We always be told that a women should always be protective of her own personal integrity, although this is a rather traditional idea, it is still wildly believed by nowadays Taiwanese and is considered to be a strict moral rule. I wonder what make you have this different idea toward this Premarital cohabitation issue, what made you think that this moral idea was wrong?

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    1. I think the reason why we emphasize the virginity of girls is the society domination of masculism. So that's why I disagree the statement that girls should care about their reputation.

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  2. I can accept premarital cohabitation but I think it's not appropriate for college students, because if you live together with your boyfriend, the probability of conceiving would get higher, and I think we are not mature enough to deal with the pregnant problem.
    Also, if you can list more advantages of premarital cohabitation will be more persuasive, for you only point out it can help two of them understand each other.

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  3. I agree with you that there is no difference between temporary staying or long-time-stay and premarital cohabitation can let couple understand each other more. But your statement is not powerful enough to support your idea since your reason is few. And maybe you can limit your object to a specific group such as college students or adults who have job because when it comes to students, pregnant problems are always arguable issue.

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  4. First of all, I liked your topic because it deals with the problem that we may face in our age. However, I do not agree with the idea of premarital cohabitation. The reason why I disagreed is because I think it is inappropriate to live with your other half before marriage. There should always be a distance between you and your lover before marriage, though a deeply in loved couple may argue that they lived together because they loved each other so much and could not be separated. But i still believe that people of our age are not capable of it for we are not mature and responsible enough to deal with the problem that may occur when premarital cohabitation happened for example pregnant. I think your point of the idea is clear, but I think it will be much better if you add more strong statements and more concrete examples to back up your idea,

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  5. I think you should talk about general thoughts instead of just focus on two of roommates. And you also can write more aspects about premarital cohabitation. Although I agree with you that if they go to their boyfriends many times a week, then just go to stay there, I do not feel strong enough points to support your side. Like Ruby said, for young couple to live together, most of people will worried about pregnant problem, the spend, how to share house chore, and the most important is that what their parents will think.

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  6. So which group do you want to investigate? If you want to research couples whose relationships are serious with possibility of marriage, then I think premarital cohabitation is totally appropriate. Since they have already considered their future, getting used to each other's living habits as soon as they can helps them improve quality of living in the future.
    If you choose college students, I cannot accept premarital cohabitation. Living together must show one's bad habits."In love feelings" really play an important role in a relationship. So it may affect the original development. And also pregnancy is a big problem. Living together increase the rates of having baby. And it must bring up lots of problems.

    It is really good to choose this issue but you should develop it more. Try to take more examples to strengthen your point!

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    1. I want to discuss all the legally recognized adults. So it is not only the couples who have engagement but also college students.

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  8. I think one of the advantages for premarital cohabitation is that you could have a chance to know your boyfriend/girlfriend better. Many people try to hide their real personality and only show their amiable qualities when they're dating. By living together, many of your personal habits and thoughts will be exposed, and so is your boyfriend's/girlfriend's. After a painful break-up, many people keep whining about how long it takes to discover how awful their ex is. Spending months even years to discover that is just a complete waste of time. And I think premarital cohabitation will fasten the whole "get to know each other" process and save your time.
    And for some people who are concerned about the risks of getting pregnant. Here's the solution: take precautions. And for the couples who are sexually active and don't take any precautions, the possibility of having a baby is still very high even they're not living together.

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  9. I can understand your thought. However, I agree more with your roommates. Before coming up for the thought of marry, premarital cohabitation is somehow, a little heavy to couple. As for your article, if you can give more example about your standpoint will be more convincing.

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  10. I cannot agree with you. We college students are not mature enough to live with people we love. We are still impulsive and we can't be responsible for the pregnant problem. If we cohabit with our lovers, many problems would happen inevitably. In addition, how will others see girls who live with her boyfriends? And I think boys have to protect his girlfriends' reputation. Although cohabitation is a great way to let lovers understand each other, they will get fight and break up easily without deep relationship.

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  11. It is few strong points to support premarital cohabitation. I suppport the idea that premarital cohabitation can understand each other more, but I think there is other obstruction, such as how most people will see this couple or other problems. You can say more about how to solve these problems.

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  12. As a Christian, I can't agree with premarital cohabitation. As well as sex, the we should try cohabitation after we really know each other. In other words, we should do so only under the frame of marriage. Or otherwise, casual cohabitation may gives rise to lots of problem, such as who should take responsibility to hygiene chores, and eventually they may spoil the relationship.

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  13. You show a good and strong motivation in this Issue paper. And I like your topic because it is close to our life, especially to university students. However, I think the example you give doesn’t support your argument in premarital cohabitation. I suggest that a list of advantages and explanations will be more convincing. Also, it makes me a little confused because I am not sure what statement do you want to argue. Maybe a topic sentence or an argument against your partner can make the article better understood.

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  14. this is really astonishing that the two roommate didn't accept premarital cohabitation because of another reason that we didn't think about it
    before, couple who live together because they want to live TOGETHER.
    But, if they are really in love, and get marry in the end, this problem will still show up somehow in the end.

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  15. I think your point is reasonable but I still cannot accept premarital cohabitation. Because I think even in our ages is still too young to judge things like this.
    Besides, a true love couple can develop good relation without living together.

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