2013年10月30日 星期三

3.1 Premarital cohabitation: annotation 2

  Cohabitation, which is used to be considered immoral in the ancient time, should be re-defined nowadays. I found a piece of research paper named, " The Economic Study about Premarital Cohabitation." It mentioned many benefits of cohabitation in economic way.  In a paragraph of the article, "Considering the long-term contract of marriage and the high cost of divorcing , people in the marriage market are more careful about finding marriage partners, which increases the cost of finding marriage partners more. ... So we can say that the cost of finding a person to cohabit is lower than a person to marry, " which explained that cohabitation provided either a more flexible option for couples to share a life without contracts or incentives for people to love someone. 
  The article also mentioned that cohabitation meant the economic independence of women. Women started to refuse the restrict of a marriage, which emphasized that the obligation of women is to obey her husband, to raise kids and to hold a family. These "obligations" were overturned gradually and women should have the right to refuse these unfair concepts and embrace the cohabitation as the first step.


Resource:
http://big.hi138.com/jingjixue/xinjingji/201102/287037.asp

2.2 Premarital cohabitation: transcription

  I’m standing on the positive side. I think that everyone knows it becomes more and more popular that cohabitation is accepted among many couples. But I think cohabitation is discriminated because it is very different from our established concept. It is because our traditional background emphasized the virginity of girls, and it is also because of the domination of the maculism. If we want to develop, we have to change our concepts. Cohabitation is a right of liberty that the law allowed, so it couldn’t be discriminated like that. 
  And I’m going to talk about my experience, even I’m single now, I stand on the positive side in this case. But my friends, who is in the relationship, they all refused to take cohabitation because they thought this was inappropriate. And I was trying to persuade them, so I concluded many benefit of cohabitation. Reason number one, cohabitation is to test he or she will be your ideal mate. Number two, it is to learn how to face the real life. Three, it is a way to make the relationship stable. Four , we can say that couples can see things, understand things and learn things during the cohabitation. They try to adapt each other and try to understand each other deeply. For example, sometimes we see a girl who is pretty outside, but actually she is dirty while in the dorm. So if her lover starts a life with her, he will find out this fact, and maybe he’ll say ,”Oh no , it is too dirty. I don’t want to live with you forever.” 
  And next, I’m going to talk about the book I quoted to proof my viewpoints, the author mentioned that cohabitation is to turn abstract feelings to reality and listed many practical benefits such as “The telephone charge we saved could buy two more clothes” or “If you live together, the man can drive you to school so that you can save your traffic fee.” Or “the time you spend together is longer than separating,” lovers would like to do that because they want to stay with each other much longer much better. 
  To oppose to Joselin, I think if we really want to stay long with this mate, we can’t only take freshness into consideration because you will spend a really long time with your “the one”, you can’t just say that “I had seen you so many times. I ‘m tired. I don’t want to see you anymore.” If you want to share your life with a totally different individual, you have to understand him deeply rather than thinking cohabitation would increase the freshness. I’m finished. Thank you.

2013年10月16日 星期三

2.1 Premarital cohabitation: annotation 1

"The Reasons to Support Cohabitation:
 1. To test if he or she would be a ideal mate.
 2. Only care about what we had once.
 3. To learn how to face the real life.
 4. To have a identity that between single and unmarried.
 5. To make the time that fighting together earlier.
 6. To make the relationship stable."
- from "Living Together for Love",Yi-Xin Huang,published by Gao-Lin International AG.
  Cohabitation, which means couples come up a thought to live together. It becomes more and more popular recently, in the meanwhile, this phenomenon starts to assault the established concept in our society. I also have friends who are thinking about the possibility of cohabitation, however, they all refused eventually which made me to think about their reasons. I'm stand on the positive side even that I'm single, so why are these girls who is in a relationship rejected this cohabitation choice?
  We can start from why we should support people to take cohabitation. First, this is a right of liberty that the law allowed. No one could judge or forbid it. Second,couples can see things, understand things, and learn things during the cohabitation. Third, the book I quoted mentioned that cohabitation is to transfer the abstract feelings to reality. This book also said the benefits of the cohabitation, in page 56, it said," The telephone charge that saved could buy two more clothes." And in page 57, it said," The time you two stick together is much longer than separating." These reasons are so practical to approve why the cohabitation should be accepted rather than being discriminated.
  Talking about discrimination, cohabitation used to be considered negative, and our first thought while seeing it would be " Those girls who does this must be terrible." How we see this term at this way? Why our first idea comes to blame on girls? It can trace back to our traditional background. In ancient time, people emphasized the virginity of girls because of the domination of masculinity. However, we are living in a world which values the equity, how could we still see things at this old, ancient way? How could we call ourselves modern people when our ideology didn't improve? This kind of thought could be called prejudice nowadays. And there is one more interesting thing that "Live Together for Love" mentioned, maybe the boys are at the disadvantage. It is surprising that they could suffer from their masculism that they always want to pay for all the life stuff or the things to cater to their girlfriends. So we'll never know who's the winner, then we can't give judgement to the couples who take cohabitation.
  There is no right-or-false question in the definition of cohabitation. Cohabitation is only a kind of way for lovers to understand his or her lover deeply.That is exactly why I support couples to do the cohabitation at their will because understanding is the most important part of a relationship.

2013年10月2日 星期三

1.1 Premarital cohabitation : introduction

  It is a fresh experience when I became a second-graded student, two of my roommates started to stay overnight in their boyfriends' houses. At first, I thought it was really a big step forward to the relationship and really didn't approve it. However, I soon found out that this might be a great start for two people to understand each other more because they could get used to each other's living habits earlier, so I turned to persuade my roommates to move to live with their boyfriends next semester. It was reported many times that lots of couples figured out they didn't fit when they finally built a dreamy sweet house.
  To my surprise, they all refused. They told me they couldn't accept premarital cohabitation or something like that because they insisted on the sense of fresh was important than their future happiness. So I asked deeply and discovered that they didn't stand against premarital cohabitation but they fought against "cohabitation before engagement". The definition of these two terms was a little different that the range of the second one term was much smaller than the first one. They said when somebody came up the thought of marrying someone else , it was necessary to live together for a while to make a final decision; however, when two people hadn't thought to make a forever contract to each other, they shouldn't live together hastily.
  It was unexpected because I think the thing in another way. I support any kind of cohabitation since there is no difference between temporary staying or long-time-stay. Discontinuous living together is actually a reflection of the desire to live together. If you want to stay longer with your lover and you have ability to do, why not just moving into his house?