這個小工具發生錯誤

2013年11月13日 星期三

2.3 Premarital cohabitation: revised 1




"The Reasons to Support Cohabitation:
1. To test if he or she would be a ideal mate.
2. Only care about what we had once.
3. To learn how to face the real life.
4. To have a identity that between single and unmarried.
5. To make the time that fighting together earlier.
6. To make the relationship stable."


- from "Living Together for Love",Yi-Xin Huang,published by Gao-Lin International AG.

  Cohabitation, which means couples come up a thought to live together. It becomes more and more popular recently, in the meanwhile, this phenomenon starts to assault the established concept in our society. I also have friends who are thinking about the possibility of cohabitation, however, they all refused eventually which made me to think about their reasons. I'm stand on the positive side even that I'm single, so why are these girls who is in a relationship rejected this cohabitation choice?
  We can start from why we should support people to take cohabitation. First, this is a right of liberty that the law allowed. No one could judge or forbid it. Second,couples can see things, understand things, and learn things during the cohabitation. Third, the book I quoted mentioned that cohabitation is to transfer the abstract feelings to reality. This book also said the benefits of the cohabitation, in page 56, it said," The telephone charge that saved could buy two more clothes." And in page 57, it said," The time you two stick together is much longer than separating." These reasons are so practical to approve why the cohabitation should be accepted rather than being discriminated.
  Talking about discrimination, cohabitation used to be considered negative, and our first thought while seeing it would be " Those girls who does this must be terrible." How we see this term at this way? Why our first idea comes to blame on girls? It can trace back to our traditional background. In ancient time, people emphasized the virginity of girls because of the domination of masculinity. However, we are living in a world which values the equity, how could we still see things at this old, ancient way? How could we call ourselves modern people when our ideology didn't improve? This kind of thought could be called prejudice nowadays. And there is one more interesting thing that "Live Together for Love" mentioned, maybe the boys are at the disadvantage. It is surprising that they could suffer from their masculism that they always want to pay for all the life stuff or the things to cater to their girlfriends even that they never have to do this. So we'll never know who's the winner, then we can't give judgement to the couples who take cohabitation.
  Somebody may questions about the sexual part that men and women are born with different body structure, it would push women into disadvantage and dangerous way. I think this part is true that women would suffer from being pregnant more than men, however, I don't think this could be a obstacle that even the couple don't live together, they still could have sex, what matters is not how long they spend together, it's how much they want to. So cohabitation is not the motive to make couples have sex.
  There is no right-or-false question in the definition of cohabitation. Cohabitation is only a kind of way for lovers to understand his or her lover deeply.That is exactly why I support couples to do the cohabitation at their will because understanding is the most important part of a relationship. The concern about the freshness fading away is totally unnecessary, when you grow up and have to marry someone, that one you choose must be mature enough to face the reality, the development of love and the entire life with you. Each-other-understanding is far important than freshness.

source:
同居潮流,屋簷下的親密關係 /黃憶欣 著


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